Rejection

These walls were built for you

That enemy that wears too many hats

Who talks too much and knows too much about me

Knows the ways to get down into the cracks of my psyche

Apparently has a roadmap to my soul

Knows how to make me lose my self-worth

Knows how to bruise me in vulnerable places

The secret enemy of my heart

Hates when I am right and tries to fight me each time

I always lose

And Rejection knows the power he wields

And he knows that I am already broken

I didn’t forget to tell him to love me and respect me and care for me

When I dropped my shield and lowered my sword

I pretended I was safe.

That I could rest myself. Again.

Friends and lovers leave the same mess behind

They must know him too, right?

Then why do they banquet with him?

And how do they live with themselves?

And how do I recreate new armor when I have no skills and no tools?

And yet I can already hear my heart hammering

Pounding it out until it shines again

My longing, polishing a new gleaming breastplate

Stronger than the last one

Protecting what’s already broken

It just gets so heavy

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