I have begged and I have made threats. I have punished and I have ignored. #distubungclarity

Dammit……

Ok so I’m done trying to pry these kids out of bed in the morning and then rushing them to meet the bus in time as they move like snails. That’s not really fair I guess because one of them pops right up when her alarm goes off and finds a myriad of ways to waste as much time as possible until she’s late anyway. The result is the same. Me saying hurry up, you’ve been up for an hour or hurry up it’s not my fault you overslept, again….ugh…

“Here take your lunch, where’s your bookbag? Did you brush your teeth? Go back upstairs and put something clean on that doesn’t make you look like you slept at the bus station. Take your breakfast and stand outside while you eat it.” Trust me when I say the list goes on…. and on and on and on. I’m so done.

My kids are 12 now and perfectly capable of doing all of the things on their own. The washing of their faces, the gathering of their materials, the cutting up of their own Eggos. Everything….. except managing their time. I really don’t understand this phenomenon because it’s literally a case of “you do the same thing every morning why is this so hard?”

I’ve made bathroom schedules and check charts. I’ve had them lay out their clothes and taught them how to set their own alarms. I’ve made bed time earlier and given them a specific area in which to keep all of the things they need to successfully walk out the door in the mornings ready for the world. But alas, I’m still chasing them around the house in the morning with a figurative flyswatter.

If you think making them walk to school is a punishment well let me just stop you right there. They are perfectly happy to walk. They don’t care about making the bus or getting to school on time or any punishment they could get or privilege they could lose. And I dread the mornings.

So what is there for a mother to do? All I want is for them to do the things they already know they need to do the same way every morning. I want them to grow into responsible young adults who get themselves up for work and make it on time. I really want them to be able to hold down a job and for some CRAZY reason getting there on time ready to start the day is kind of a must-have.

Any ideas from my followers would be much appreciated. I’m so over the bus driver looking at me judgingly as I run them out the door every morning; one kid crying because I won’t let her come back in to get “one more thing” she’s decided she needs to get through the day and the other one carrying his socks and shoes that he literally had an hour to put on.

One Turtle at a Time

Our last morning at Oak Island I was packing up the villa and stopped to take the dogs for their last hoorah on the beach. I noticed the turtle patrol ladies digging in a hole right at the beach access I had used all week.

A little back story here. I know all about these turtle ladies, creatures of the night who stalk the nest sites every year for returning turtle mommas who lay their eggs near the dunes and leave. I’m not sure if they’re actually called turtle patrol but that’s what I always called them. They use their red lights to check on the nests at night when no one is really on the beach because that’s when most nests will hatch. They also drive golf carts around during the day looking for nests. I lived at Holden Beach for 3 years in my 20’s and many times witnessed these die hard protectors of nature scolding careless tourists for messing around the nesting areas. But I NEVER ONCE SAW A TURTLE.

So this morning when I saw them at my beach access at Oak Island NC I was super excited.

We went down to the beach and saw one of the ladies releasing a bucketful of baby turtles and trying to get overly pushy tourists out of the way so they could make it to the water without getting stepped on. They were much more patient than I would have been.

Then as I was leaving to go get the kids and tell them, some guy came up through the parking lot carrying one in his hand and asking if anyone wanted it. Said he found it in the road. 🤦🏼‍♀️ When he refused my request to give it to the ladies digging out the nest in lieu of taking selfies with it and letting his kids hold it I TOTALLY TATTLED ON HIM. So then they asked him for it and he said “are you sure you are going to release it?” And wouldn’t hand it over. I guess at first I didn’t realize that never having lived at the beach this guy just didn’t get it.

As I looked at him holding the turtle up away from the lady like it was a dog treat and he was teasing her, I wondered if he’d ever really been kicked in the shin. I definitely judged him as an irritating human oaf at that moment. But In the end he gave it up and the lady told him to make sure he washed his hands as they carry salmonella. He looked back over his shoulder and said “yeah ok” and I thought to myself “I hope he licks his fingers”….

He was obviously just oblivious to how special this was. Most of these species are endangered or threatened and after all he did save it. So, I forgive him for being jerky.

Then I got to thinking… I didn’t realize they would go the wrong way! I heard them say there were 106 eggs in the nest and they had only accounted for 94 of the turtles and were hoping the others had made it to the ocean on their own. “Well” I thought, “if this dude can find one then their might be more going the wrong way!” Luckily I had successfully hunted up 3 shark’s teeth the night before and my eyes were tuned in and ready for the Hunt. 😊

I found one in the parking lot across the street. A really busy street btw.

And one in the yard of a beach house next door.

I was soooo excited to be part of that after all these years! Good luck little girls! (Wikipedia said gender is determined by outside temp and girls are hatched when it’s warm) In the end there were 104 hatched eggs and 96 accounted for. That’s not too bad. We were a little late packing up since I was busy “a huntin’ me some turtle babies” and got locked out of the automatic lock on the beach villa about 15 minutes past 10 but I think we got most everything out. Totally worth it. ❤️

The Snack Epidemic | Parents

Cookies at school, crackers for car rides, chips after sports … This around-the-clock nibbling is hurting kids’ eating habits — and their health.
— Read on www.parents.com/recipes/nutrition/kids/the-snack-epidemic/

I think there might be a lot of us out there but we are too afraid to say anything. Afterall, nobody wants to be that parent. But look where we are headed! I’m pretty sure we didn’t get snack when I was in school. At home we might have a bag of oranges or some apples available between meals but other than that we just didn’t have it. We ate at meal times. We also traveled a lot in the car. I have zero memories of eating in my parent’s car.

Just tell me this, where does it end? Huh? Do we all just keep pretending that our kids are eating healthy forever but keep ignoring what’s actually going into their mouths when we aren’t around? How crazy would you look if you showed up at school and said “please don’t give my kid candy and junk food, not for a snack and not for a reward.” How many people would actually follow your instructions? How long would it last? Sure we should teach our kids self-control and how to turn down junk food but sugar is addictive. Additives can be addictive. Wheat can be addictive. Think I’m lying ? Stop eating one of these things and tell me you don’t feel hungover for about a week. I DOUBLE-DOG DARE YOU!

How to Eat Like a French Woman

How to Eat Like a French Woman
— Read on www.google.com/amp/s/www.vogue.com/article/eat-like-a-french-woman-how-to/amp

I thought this was an interesting read. I was remembering having read an article somewhere where a woman described having lived in France and how even the children waited for mealtime and didn’t snack all the time. I was looking for that and ran across this. I mention it because over the summer break we eat most meals at home and knowing what’s coming next, we don’t snack often. During the school year my kids have a snack in the morning before they leave home. Then they eat breakfast at school. They then eat lunch, an afternoon snack, another snack at afterschool care and come home asking for more food before dinner. I need a snack sometimes too, but I think it’s really gotten out of hand in America and if you think I’m wrong, well, look around. And it’s not just how often the kids are hungry, it’s why they’re hungry so often. Look what they’re eating. There are very few vegetables going into their bodies and a whole lot of processed, pre-packaged junk we are calling food. I can feed my kids 100% healthy at home but 180 days out of the year, even if I pack their breakfast and lunch they are still getting a ton of sugar and chemicals in typical American snacks.

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Please go vote for Open Door Cafe. This charity provides free meals on a pay what you can system and volunteer opportunities to people in our community. No email address or phone is required to vote. Thank You- Disturbingclarity

I Heard You Were Looking For Me

By Karen Bradberry

What if I could take away the pain you wish I could?

And erase the memories and you knew that I would?

Would you ever want to meet me, have me perform this task?

Would you risk the girl you are to have that peace at last?

And when you’ve purged and come out new, what will you do then?

You’ll never move another soul or write from heart to pen.

You’ll then give up the thing you used to cope with all your pain and have to find your seat again and have no one to blame.

Those times you used the rain outside to mask your tears have gone.

Those little bits of empathy, that cannot sleep til dawn.

The girl that you were proud of who overcame the hurt,

Never even happened, never knew her worth.

She went through life in wonder and pitied those who feel,

Never comprehending how that cut would scar and heal.

So do you want to meet me and have me do this thing?

Or would you rather keep your heart although it’s in a sling?

DisturbingClarity… from the Garden

Every season is a chance for a new beginning. A chance for success and a chance for failure. And they will come. Some failures will seem insignificant. Some will floor you. Some successes will seem small and unimportant. Some will leave you with a renewed sense of purpose. But every season is an opportunity for improvement on the last.

Hardships will come and death is imminent, but we must try. We must continue. We have to care and love.

An untended garden looks untended. The signs are all around. Weeds are inevitable. They will always come. Pluck them out while they are small but be diligent. Some weeds are beneficial. It’s important to do your best to identify them early. Pluck them out and get rid of them if they serve no purpose. Relocate them to a safer place if you want to keep them but they’re choking out something purposefully planted. You are in control.

Each day go out and see the growth, the damage, the thirst, the bounty. Serve it. Recognize it for what it is. Call it by its name. Be grateful and glad, humbled or sad if that is what the moment calls for.

Each day we start anew with dreams and goals and plans. In the beginning you doubted every step. You agreed with them when they said you would probably fail, but you did it anyway. And now you have the confidence to break new ground and start fresh. You know when and how to pluck things out of each space in your garden where you don’t want them to grow. You have the knowledge and bravery to let some things you didn’t plan happen anyway and the freedom to allow yourself to be excited about their possibilities.

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Just open your eyes each day and remember that journey you’ve taken so many times that often began with fear, loneliness, self-doubt and ended in joy and bounty. Do that, and each season remind yourself that this is the beginning of something new. Recognize the challenges and anticipate the hard work.

Remember the pride of the harvest and the laughter over shared meals and all the good things you are going to get to make out of it. Some things will immediately be consumed but you will have extra. Extra to share and to save. Extra to turn into something completely different and useful. To use as a teaching tool when you have the opportunity.

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Soon the ground will be frozen again. The soil will be cold and barren in some areas. That’s ok, it just means you need to see to other important things and wait in faith that your favorite things will come back around.

img_3658Everyone’s garden looks different but there isn’t one single person who cannot benefit from tending his own. What do you have? A small container on the balcony or in the windowsill? Plant what you hope will grow there. It will be enough. It will be something where there once was nothing. You can say, “I grew this,” “I am proud of this”. You can reach out if you get into trouble and ask for help. Ask anyone you can find. Don’t take just anyone’s advice though. Mind your instincts and be patient. Some things take a long time to come to fruit. Sometimes they’re beautiful. They are sweet and perfect and truly something special.

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The hard truth is though, they aren’t always worth the trouble that you put in. Sometimes they just don’t work out. And my best advice to you is, make damn sure you get something out of the journey or the season will seem to have been wasted. You will be hurt and bitter, maybe resentful or sad. Maybe all of it.

But did you know that it’s ok to be sad. When you’ve taken the time and given the love and effort and it just doesn’t work out in the end, why shouldn’t you be sad? But be sad and grateful for the knowledge. Be humbled and excited about what you could do differently next time.

Did something get in and destroy your whole crop this year? Do you need to build a new fence or just repair a spot in the old one? Do that. It doesn’t matter if you got lazy and did something careless. If you didn’t know you needed to make your fence stronger this year than it was last year.

You are not responsible for predicting what everyone else will do. Just learn from it. Make sure intruders know you have your boundaries clearly marked. Get back up and dry your tears and put the pieces together a little differently this time. And go try again.

There are some things that other gardeners in my area grow every year and they have beautiful harvests. Some things that I have tried several years in a row to grow and failed. It just isn’t meant to be for me and my garden. It was disappointing at first but at least now I know. I still keep planting them hoping they will surprise me and grow well, but I don’t spend any time worrying over them anymore.

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I plant other things I know will grow here because they always do. And each year I plant something new and experimental just to see if I can. What will it be this year? I haven’t decided. It’s too late to start some things. I know this. That’s what all the books say. That’s what my gardener friends or mentors will tell me. But I also know that my whole life has been a series of the world under- estimating me, telling me I can’t or I shouldn’t. So, I might try it anyway, just to see if I can.

 

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Enjoy the time you spend making the callouses my friends. Let them heal for a season and start again. You and your garden are worth the daily watering, every day you got up just a little early to beat the heat, every fence you built to protect what’s yours, every repair you’ve made to the landscape and every tool you’ve bought that you bought because you needed it for one specific purpose. All worth it. Pay attention and enjoy.

 

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~Karen Bradberry

Hi! I am the owner and sole writer for “DisturbingClarity”, a humorous yet factual blog found at http://www.disturbingclarity.com. I began this blog in effort to try to fill in the gaps for travelers like myself, ready for adventure and avoiding disaster. I have also found myself writing about food and gardening and living your best life! I hope you enjoy these articles and please feel free to make suggestions. I would love to hear your ideas!

disturbingclarity@gmail.com

 

7 Healthy Grilled Cheese Sandwiches Under 400 Calories | Nutrition | MyFitnessPal

Make nutritious, protein-packed versions of the classic comfort food.
— Read on myfitnesspal.wpengine.com/7-healthy-grilled-cheese-sandwiches-under-400-calories/

Why Your Novel Won’t Get Published – Chuck Wendig: Terribleminds

Why Your Novel Won’t Get Published – Chuck Wendig: Terribleminds
— Read on terribleminds.com/ramble/2011/01/10/why-your-novel-wont-get-published/